Reasons to let guys over 60 enlist....
- The M14 you snuck home in pieces back in '68 is better than the crap they use today
- Any foreign country that serves tea and considers prune juice the drink of warriors has a certain attraction
- The kids are grown, settled, and don't call anyway
- We are used to taking orders - we're married
- Combat can't be more frightening than a letter from the IRS to come in for an audit
- We can shoot pretty well after 40 odd years of practice
- Walk smalk - the military rides everywhere nowadays anyway
- A country were the women all wear the burqa is no big deal - at this age, sex is mostly in our imagination
- We have no bad habits for a Sargent to break - we're married
- Buzzcuts are unnecessary
- We're used to working at a shit job for no money where people are trying to kill us
- Staying up all night on guard duty is easy when you've got to get up to pee every two hours anyway
- Cammo is good for hiding the ol' potbelly
- Modern weapons are easier to use than the flintlocks we used last time
- Your new honorable discharge won't be hand-written on parchment
- Your buddies' names will be Harold and Arthur instead of Spike and Scar
- Frank Sinatra - The War Years
- That accordion troupe from Pennsy will finally be able to get that USO gig
- We are familiar with military terms:
- Cut and Run - What happens when the wife wants you to do stuff around the house
- MaDuce - Your 2nd wife's mother
- Drop and give me 50 - Don't say this to a guy with hemorrhoids
- We've been doing KP for years
- Schools were better when we were young - we all had a geography course called 'Third World Shitholes' so we know where we're going
- We've all still got our uniforms - they just need to be let out a bit (OK, a lot)
- She waited for you the last time - maybe she won't wait for you this time
Leave a comment!