Sure - Help is always appreciated....

So I see this poll on a Website asking Europeans if they would help the US if we were really in trouble over something or other.

19% said no
3% yes, if they paid us
10% yes, but only if the US is getting hit by major disasters
13% yes, if I can pick and choose who I could help
51% yes, but only if they ask nicely

To which I commented:

I don't really understand the question...

1. In the Northeast, Europe is already helping us to get in touch with our feminine side.

2. Europe doesn't know where the Southwest, Mid-Atlantic, or Mid-West is. They wouldn't like it if they did...too 'cowboy' or 'bible belt'.

3. The Far West is already infested with Europeans...see No. 1

4. New England is too far out in the boonies for Europeans to know about, except as occasional vacation spots for French Presidents, and coastal enclaves full of French-looking politicians. As European history books have nothing about the American Revolutionary War...those states don't exist except as areas blocking parts of Canada from the Atlantic Ocean.

5. The Northwest has already surrendered to Europe in the cities, and the rot is creeping inland.

6. The South doesn't need any help from Europe. Except for the progressive urban shit-hole here or there....and Europe is welcome to them.

Of course help from England is always appreciated, altho I'm afraid we may, along with Canada and Australia,  become a refuge for Brits fed up with the Nanny state.

So except for some urban slivers on both coasts, I'd be surprised if Europe was even aware how large this country is. They must think the area between coasts is still Indian country.

We would very much appreciate your help, but please limit it to those areas of the country that are secular, liberal, and needy...you will know them by the crime, filth, lack of guns, and the huge amount of self-proclaimed victims.

Oh, and be careful if you try to interfere with the South...they've been known to get a bit cranky when bothered too much. See if you can find a history book that hasn't been burned or revised, and start reading at 1861. We in the North have decided we don't want to go thru that again and many of us would probably move South to help out.