What I like about Ted Kennedy is that he's not only a man of truth and vision, but he speaks with a clear conscience. He fought valiantly in Germany during the Korean War while Bush was partying with his rich white buddies in Kennebunkport. So I think the man is more than qualified to criticize Bush's bungling of the Iraq war.

You see, the good Senator from Massachusetts knows that with matters as important as national security, you can't just dive in headfirst without a plan. We should take our time, lie on the grass a while, smoke a cigarette, and think things through. We must seek the help of our friends, allies, lawyers, etc. and discuss the possible political ramifications of our actions. Then, and only then, should we report the accident.

Wait... we were talking about Iraq, weren't we?

Yes, yes...As the Senator said, Bush has created a "credibility gap as wide as Martha's Vineyard" with his stretching of the truth, and his outright lies about events leading up to and following the war. According to Kennedy, Bush got in over his head in Iraq, and now he's treading water. He's lost the trust of the American people by wandering aimlessly around in the dark while innocent lives are lost.

But that's all water under the bridge. Sure, a young woman is dead, but the most important thing right now is damage control. Salvaging the Senator's political career must be our top priority, and I don't care who we have to bribe or blackmail to make things right.

Whoa...did I stray off again?

Where was I?

Oh yes...the esteemed Senator Kennedy concluded his speech by attacking Bush's honesty, and comparing his presidency to that of Richard "Watergate" Nixon's.

"Saying whatever it takes to prevail has become standard operating procedure in the Bush White House," Kennedy said. "In this administration, truth is the first casualty of policy."

In other words, you can't just put on a phony neck brace and expect people to believe your sob story, Mr. Bush! Your rich and powerful daddy won't protect you now! You must level with the American People, and take responsibility for your actions, before the truth comes floating to the surface like the bloated corpse of your dead brother's secretary.

-Blamebush