Ruh Roh!!!

According to Janet Napolitano, You Are a "Right Wing Extremist" If You---

By John Lillpop Monday, April 13, 2009



A recently unclassified government report warns against the possibility
of violence by "right-wing extremists." According to unnamed sources
close to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, you are a right
wing extremist if you--



Were born in the Deep South

Believe that 9/11 was more serious than Watergate

Wear an American flag in your lapel

Knowingly listen to Rush Limbaugh

Speak and write perfect English, but no Spanish

Own more than two Bibles or one Confederate Flag

Believe that Jesus Christ means eternal life

Support the rule of law and maintenance of law and order

Want America's borders secured

Believe that Mexico is a foreign nation and Spanish a foreign language

Thank God that the U.S. won both world wars

Oppose affirmative action, abortion, same-sex marriage, and gun control

Believe that fighting higher taxes is more patriotic than paying them

Prefer "Patriot's Tea" to Obama Kool-aid

Doubt that Islam is really a "Religion of Peace"

Believe that a baby Jew born to a virgin 2009 years ago saved mankind from sin

Send out Christmas cards

Attend a Christian church on occasions other than Christmas and Easter.

Sing the National Anthem with your hand over your heart

Fly Old Glory on Flag Day and Independence Day

Believe that preventing voter fraud is more important than empowering illegal aliens, felons, and the deceased with the vote

Own a gun and ammunition.

Favor the death penalty for brutal killers, but oppose abortion of innocent fetuses

Miss WF Buckley, Ronald Reagan, and Richard Nixon

Have read the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and U.S. Constitution more than once

Believe that labor unions should be subjected to anti-trust laws.

Have never committed adultery or had gay sex

Drive a car built by an American car company in America

Dispute the belief that the economic meltdown was worth it in order to open home ownership to more people of color

Believe that the U.S. should spend more money on national defense than on foreign aid

Suspect that Nancy Pelosi is dumber than a pound of recycled botox

Mourn the 50 million fetuses that have been slaughtered since the Roe V. Wade ruling

Pay a tithe or make a donation to any organized religion

Are successful and prosperous and flagrantly show it

Have never applied for food stamps or welfare

Read the Wall Street Journal, George Will, Pat Buchanan, and Ann Coulter

Watch FOX News

Dislike Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez and other communist dictators

Know the words to "God Bless America" by heart

Argue that global warming is little more than hot air circulated by liberals for "green" profit

Want the UN out of America and America out of the UN



As it turns out, being a right wing extremist is exactly where most
Americans should be, despite Janet Napolitano and the other pinko
commies in Washington.