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Sent by Ana
Denny Crane - for President
Denny Crane - It Was an Accident
Katie Couric, while interviewing a Marine sniper, asked:
"What do you feel.....when you shoot a Terrorist?"
The Marine shrugged and replied,
"A slight recoil."
*who didn't want his name associated with this treasonous weblog.
He also sent some pictures....
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?"
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could
possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks....And believe me, it helps me sleep at night."
You gotta like Grandmas
Tanks Theo
...Now that we have our 17 year old granddaughter living with us.
...fortunately she doesn't read this blog.
Black Hurricanes....
Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else
to be pissed about. A black congresswoman, from Texas , has complained
that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would
prefer some names that reflect African-American culture; such as Chamiqua,
Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up !
She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in Language that
street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in
New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of
the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report.
I can hear it now:My favorite line...Or how about we only choose French names, so the fear of hurricanes will be put to rest?
A weatherman in Miami and Tampa says...Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua beheadin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!Bitch be a category fo'! So grab yo' chirren, yo'Ho, be leavin yo crib, and head fo' da nearestguv'ment office fo yo FREE shit!
Submitted by Amanda...
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| Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics) created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as Carrot Ironfounderson You are Captain Carrot Ironfounderson of the City Watch in the greatest city on the Disc â€" Ankh-Morprok! A truly good natured, honest guy, who knows everyone, and is liked by all. Technically a dwarf, but only by adoption. You’d rather not be reminded that you are the true heir to the throne, but that does explain why people naturally follow your orders…
|
Bucky rules...
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
All My Exes Live in Texas
I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me
If the Phone Don't Ring, It's Me Not Calling You Up
All the Guys Who Turn Me On Turn Me Down
If Love were Oil, I'd be a Quart Low
Her Teeth were Stained, but her Heart was Pure
At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self-Service Pump
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)
It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?
I Sat Down On a Beartrap (Just This Morning)
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
Gave Her My Heart And a Diamond And She Clubbed Me With a Spade
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
Going to Hell in Your Heavenly Arms
There Ain't Enough Room in my Fruit of the Looms to Hold All My Lovin' for You
It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
C'mon Down off the Stove, Granny, You're Too Old to Ride the Range
Don't Cry On My Shoulders Cause Your Rustin' My Spurs
Don't Run Through The Screen Door Honey You'll Only Strain Yourself
Forget the Night, Help Me Make It Through the Door
From The Indies To The Andes In His Undies
I Can't Love Your Body if Your Heart's Not In It
If Money Talks, It Ain't On Speaking Terms With Me
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
I Just Couldn't Leave Her Behind Alone
I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It's Love
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield of Life
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
I'm Sorry I Made You Cry, But At Least Your Face Is Cleaner
I Only Have Eyes For You, But Look What I've Got For Your Sister
My Sweet Tooth Says I Wanna, But My Wisdom Tooth Says No
Now I lay Me Down To Cheat
Peekin' Through the Knothole In Grandma's Wooden Leg
Since You Bought The Waterbed We've Slowly Drifted Apart
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this terrorist what I received not 31 days ago from this very Airport.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Yellow Bellied Raghead...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead terrorist when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable terrorist, the Yellow Bellied Raghead, idn'it, ay? Beautiful charring!
C: The charring don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
C: Ello, Mister Terrorist! I've got a lovely fresh porkchop for you if you show...
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the hospital bed!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
Customer butt-strokes the Yellow Bellied Raghead with his M4...
C: Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock prayer call!
C: Now that's what I call a dead terrorist.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Yellow Bellied Ragheads stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That terrorist is definitely deceased, and when I received it not 31 days ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged jihad.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the sand dunes.
C: PININ' for the SAND DUNES?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im to the hospital?
O: The Yellow Bellied Raghead prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable terrorist, id'nit, squire? Lovely charring!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that terrorist when I got it to the hospital, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in its SUV in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that terrorist down, it would have nuzzled up to those Airport doors, bent 'em apart with its bare hands, and VOOM! Off to Allah!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this terrorist wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This Jihadi is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the SUV 'e'd be pushing up the Falafel! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! E's got 'is 72 raisins in the bucket right bleedin' now!
THIS IS AN EX-RAGHEAD!!
Ok enough, with apologies to Monty Python.
...that someone can't make a buck off of.
Mr. Freemarket, that stalwart bulldog of Capitalism, sends this picture of free market shenanigans in flooded Britain.
You are The Devil
Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession
The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.
Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Into Theo Sparks Friday Islamic Nursery Rhyme Contest. Accepting poetry, rhyme, doggerel, haiku, and purple prose.
Butcher of Baghdad
defeat in a muddy hole
give up quietly
Children of Jihad
Blown in a tree over there.
Where can your heart be?
No Koran is safe.
Jailhouse toilet of Cuba
fear it's mighty flush.
I've been moderating a Motivational Poster Game over the weekend.
Here is the winner. Hoot.
Now this is just weird....
Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Sacramento who has recently been diagnosed
as a carrier of HIV virus, a legacy of my longtime heroin addiction. My mom and dad live in Rio Linda. One of my sisters lives in Stockton and is married to an abusive, Mafia connected, lawyer.
He is currently under Federal investigation, but he has disappeared in recent weeks.
My father and mother were arrested last month for growing and selling marijuana. They had a beautiful indoor set-up with mercury grow lights and everything. Unfortunately, they were on parole stemming from a conviction for transporting moonshine and stolen cigarettes. The court will go hard on them if they ever come back into the state...He he he.....
So they are living with, and are financially dependent upon my twin sisters, teenage prostitutes in Carmichael.
I have two older brothers: One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
at Huntsville for three murders he is said to have committed in 1998. My half-brother, DeSylvester, is currently in the county jail, awaiting sentencing on charges of sexual misconduct with both of his stepchildren and a neighbor woman.
I have recently become engaged to marry a prostitute who lives in Galt. I should say that she is only a part-time hooker, as she spends her daylight hours working as a childcare provider and practice subject at the "Hollywood Tattoo and Piercing" school in Rancho Cordova. Sadly, the school gig will not last forever.
All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family. I always want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who watches Rosie O'Donnell and supports Hillary Clinton for President?
Signed,
Worried in Sacramento
On the way to Cabela's yesterday we were graced with this view for five miles of one-lane construction traffic.
The web is humming about how to respond to the President of Iran. I've seen everything from nukes to sanctions to doing nothing at all. None of these make sense to me.
Finally I found a guy with the right idea.
Buy him off with his own game show.
Tell them what they've won, Mamood.
Thanx to the famous Theo Spark for the link...
The funniest thing I've seen in a while. You have to watch all the stuff that goes on in the other windows too.
From the Brit side...
An American, An Englishman, and A Frenchman are walking along a beach when they come across a magic lamp.
The American picks it up and rubs it and out comes the Genii. The Genii looks them over and says, "Since there are three of you, you will get one wish each."
The American thinks for a moment and says, "My Grandfather was a farmer, my father was a farmer, I'm a farmer, and my son will be a farmer. I want America to be the most fertile, agricultural nation on earth."
*Poof* "It is done!"
The Frenchman is impressed with the wish, thinks about it for a moment and says, "My country has been invaded many times. I want France to be surrounded by a wall to protect it from all enemies."
*Poof* "It is done! Englishman, it is time for your wish!"
"Before I give my wish," the Englishman says, "Tell me about this French wall."
"It is one hundred feet high, and fifty feet thick," the Genii replies. "Nothing can go in or out through it!"
"Wonderful, for my wish, fill it with urine."
From the French side...
What separates the French from the animals?
The channel.
Oh, and I forgot...it's passover.
A cowboy visiting NY around Passover sees a Jewish deli, enters and asks the waitress: "Ma'am, I am a stranger to these parts, and never been to a Jewish joint. What do you recommend?" The waitress suggested: "Sir, you may want to try our Matzo ball soup". The cowboy tried the soup, and liked it so much that he came back for it the next day, and the next day, and the next day.
About a week later, the cowboy asks the waitress: "Pardon me, ma'am, but are there any other parts of them Matzos that you Jews eat?"
Secret European Army launches Massive attack and captures the entire Middle East
28 Minutes Ago
April 1, 2007
Brussels, Belgium. In a shocking development of the British hostage crisis, Europe united behind London and launched the largest military attack in history today against Turkey, Iran and Syria. The results left Washington stunned.
The European military command mobilized 3 million troops and successfully invaded or destroyed ever major city in the three Middle East countries. Stealth bombers hidden in France for over a decade struck the first blow against Istanbul and Damascas early in the afternoon. Then ten amphibious squadrons put 500,000 soldiers on Mediterranean and Persian Gulf beaches. Madinath ath Thaurah in Syria and Masjed Soleyman in Iran fell within an hour of the landings as Syrian and Iranian troops ran from the overwhelming forces of Europe.
Over the last few days, Pentagon sources report that the US Navy and US Air Force have been tracking massive movements of ships and aircraft to within striking range of the allied Middle East countries. White House Communications Director Tony Snow admitted the US was informed of Europe's secret military "only yesterday".
French President Jacques Chirac and British Prime Minister Tony Blair held a joint press conference in Berlin to announce not only the successful invasion of three terrorism-supporting countries, but also the successful rescue of the 15 British hostages.
"To those of you that believed Britain unable to free our Marines, I say, 'Sod off,'" Blair stated. President Chirac spoke of the European effort for nearly two hours. Unfortunately, no one understood French and Chirac refused to speak in any other language.
When asked how the Europeans had managed to fund the planes, ships and weaponry, Blair replied, "Did you really believe Airbus subsidies were spent on those flying disasters?"
Surprisingly, both Chirac and Blair named German Chancellor Angela Merkel as the force behind the European military's creation and deployment. Blair pointed out that Merkel "has the biggest balls in Europe." Chirac nodded in agreement, then spoke for another hour. Again, no one understood a word he was saying.
Apparently, the planes were built in secret in and around Amsterdam. Anytime anyone reported seeing one of the top secret planes, the report was written off as a drug-induced delusion. Europe's dreams of creating a massive navy were put on hold until millions of tons of scrap metal became available in the last few years as a result of Muslim youths burning hundreds of thousands of cars all over Europe.
British submarines barraged Tehran with conventional missiles, while a million soldiers from Poland, Italy, Spain, Germany, France and Britain, disguised as tourists at Caspian Sea resorts near Babol and Sari, donned their uniforms and weapons to pour into Tehran.
Not everything went according to plan. The Greek contingent assigned to blockade the Turkish port of Gazipasa decided instead to capture Ankara. Sources insist that the contingent made the decision after consuming large quantities of uzo and watching the film "300" non-stop for three days.
When asked to sum up the mission, Prime Minister Blair said, "We gave them goatfucking swamp donkeys a right fucking good kicking."
More as this story develops.
April Fool, like you didn't know. Thanx to A_Thinking_Man for the satire.
and they have them for girls too.
Conservative Scalawag gives us the background we've all been wondering about.
Hillary blames scandal on "vast right-wing conspiracy." "Vast left-wing conspiracy" agrees. The Illuminati abstains. Space aliens from Roswell were unavailable for comment.
"Hillary Clinton told Time magazine that she sympathizes with Martha Stewart because they're friends. Apparently, Martha used to come by the Oval Office once a week to try to get the stains out."
"In the book Hillary says she and President Clinton kept their marriage together through counseling. Yeah, that and living in different cities and never seeing each other."
"Bob Dole and Bill Clinton did a point/counterpoint segment on '60 Minutes' and both of them brought their own sponsors. Bob Dole of course had Viagra and Clinton had Dupont Stain Master Carpets."
"You may think you have a stressful job, but since she's been a Senator, Hillary Clinton, they say, put on 30 pounds. In fact, she has gotten so heavy that today Bill hit on her."
Q. What goes slurp, slurp, gulp?
A. Monica Lewinsky withholding evidence
Q. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky?
A. One can't come clean and the other can't clean come
Q. What did Monica Lewinsky find in her purse?
A. A wad of Bill's
Q. What do you call an eight-day blow job?
A. Hanukkah Lewinsky.
Q. What do Snap, Crackle and Pop have in common with Monica Lewinsky?
A. They all talk after being hit with a white liquid
Q: How many women does it take to satisfy Bill Clinton's sexual appetite?
A: It Takes A Village!
Q: What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
A: "Sat on the Presidential Staff"
Q. What was Arafat's Advice to Clinton?
A. Goats don't talk!
Q. What did Clinton say to the new female intern?
A. I haven't come across your face.
Q. What did Clinton say when Paula Jones went public with her story?
A. NOW she decides to open her mouth!
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling by car together in the Midwest when a tornado comes along, whirls them up into the air and tosses miles away to the Land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard.
Newt Gingrich steps forward first and says, "I would like to have a heart."
Dan Quayle says, "I would like to have a brain."
And Bill Clinton says, "I'm here for Dorothy!"
There is a study indicating that teens nowadays find condoms easy to obtain. 20% get condoms at family planning clinics. 30% get them at school. The remaining 50% said President Clinton brings his own.
The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton during his morning jog. Fortunately it was a draft, so he was able to dodge it.
The Clinton's ordered a new parrot, which was delivered to the White House. Unfortunately, this parrot used to live in a whorehouse.
When Hillary walked through the door, the Parrot squawked, "Too old! Too old!"
Then Chelsea walked in and the parrot said, "Too young! Too young!"
Then Bill walked in and the parrot said, "Hi Bill."
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."
Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the
helicopter in front of the White House, he was
carrying a baby piglet under each arm.
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention,
salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, sir."
The President replies "Oh, young man, these are not
pigs. You see, I just came back from Arkansas. These
are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one
for Senator Hillary Clinton and I got one for our
new Speaker of The House, Nancy Pelosi."
The squared away Marine again snaps to attention,
salutes, and says,
"Excellent Trade Sir, Excellent Trade!"
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh?
Some people still believe in David Koresh.
Good news for President Clinton. They've repaired his heart and his lungs. That's two of his three busiest organs"
Tomorrow is the opening of the Bill Clinton Presidential Library. Yeah, the opening ceremonies will feature speeches by former presidents, a 100-piece orchestra, and a wet T-shirt contest."
"Bill Clinton's book went on sale today at long last. Earlier today hundreds of people waited outside of Barnes and Noble in the pouring rain for a chance to meet Bill Clinton. When asked if she minded the rain, one woman said, 'I'm meeting Bill Clinton. I just assumed my dress would get ruined.'"
Bill Clinton's memoir, which is coming out in June, is called 'My Life.' I believe it's an oral history. ... They say it should be a good read even for people who are unfamiliar with Bill Clinton, you know, like Hillary."
Drinking beer makes men turn into women
You have to hope that this study is flawed, but the evidence seems
irrefutable. Several months ago, scientists at Europe's annual human
reproduction conference suggested that the results of a recent analysis
revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, an suggested that men
should take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that
drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were each fed six pints of beer within a
one-hour period. It was then observed that 100 per cent of the men
gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly
emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over
nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn't perform sexually,
and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
Best Fate in the World
-- Live in Britain
-- making American wages
-- with a Japanese wife
-- and a Chinese cook
Worst Fate in the World
-- Live in Japan
-- making Chinese wages
-- with an American wife
-- and a British cook
or are you just glad to see me.
This knife contains all 85 tools currently offered by Wenger in their different Swiss Army knives which together consitute over 100 different functions.
Even insti was impressed....
- The M14 you snuck home in pieces back in '68 is better than the crap they use today
- Any foreign country that serves tea and considers prune juice the drink of warriors has a certain attraction
- The kids are grown, settled, and don't call anyway
- We are used to taking orders - we're married
- Combat can't be more frightening than a letter from the IRS to come in for an audit
- We can shoot pretty well after 40 odd years of practice
- Walk smalk - the military rides everywhere nowadays anyway
- A country were the women all wear the burqa is no big deal - at this age, sex is mostly in our imagination
- We have no bad habits for a Sargent to break - we're married
- Buzzcuts are unnecessary
- We're used to working at a shit job for no money where people are trying to kill us
- Staying up all night on guard duty is easy when you've got to get up to pee every two hours anyway
- Cammo is good for hiding the ol' potbelly
- Modern weapons are easier to use than the flintlocks we used last time
- Your new honorable discharge won't be hand-written on parchment
- Your buddies' names will be Harold and Arthur instead of Spike and Scar
- Frank Sinatra - The War Years
- That accordion troupe from Pennsy will finally be able to get that USO gig
- We are familiar with military terms:
- Cut and Run - What happens when the wife wants you to do stuff around the house
- MaDuce - Your 2nd wife's mother
- Drop and give me 50 - Don't say this to a guy with hemorrhoids
- We've been doing KP for years
- Schools were better when we were young - we all had a geography course called 'Third World Shitholes' so we know where we're going
- We've all still got our uniforms - they just need to be let out a bit (OK, a lot)
- She waited for you the last time - maybe she won't wait for you this time
Thanx to Bev Bloom for the photo...pervert! Bev is our office manager and trail boss. Her 16 year old daughter was vacationing in Israel...and has been moved with her travel mates to a safe area...living in a bedouin tent. What an adventure for a young girl....and a nightmare for mom.
Tell me you can look at that face without laughing.
If I dood it, I gonna get a lickin'
I dood it!
....so wrong on so many levels.
Thanx to Hakan Ozdenli for the Pix
Found on the excellent Maggies Farm
I dun'no, It just cracked me up.
As 'omage to Mr FreeMarket and one of his bloggy staples, I offer...The USS Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators. Blockaded in Boston for eight months, from April 1814 to January 1815, Constitution takes advantage of bad weather and poor visibility to slip past the enemy and out to sea under the command of Captain Charles Stewart. Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Let it be noted that according to her log, "On January 19, 1815, the USS Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannonshot, 11,600 pounds of black power and 79,400 gallons of rum" Making Jamaica on 6 February, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 February. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine. On 18 February, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated and captured two British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each. By 26 April, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Losing one of her prizes to a British squadron, Constitution headed home. The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 15 May 1815, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky, the 34 gun prize HMS Cyane, and 28,000 gallons of stagnant water. The War of 1812 was ended by the treaty of Ghent on 24 December, 1814.
Well, it could be true....
click to make full sized
The cartoon representation of my bloglife.
Thanx to Ipso Facto
I have never used an e-z out that didn't break off and defy being drilled out. The last time ruined a $160 brake caliper while trying to get a $2 bleed screw out.
From a Castle Argghhh! caption contest...
My personal favorite was one about 'field testing the Galil'.
Received from Mr FreeMarket
Just in time for a new terror threat, I'll be working in the city for the forseeable future. I'll be arriving in the pit at the WTC each morning and leaving from it in the evening. Nice reminder.
Nine million working stiffs walking around as juicy targets...and not one can legally carry a gun. Yeah, I know...it won't help with a bomber. Unless you hear one screaming Allah Akbar and drill him in the brain pan before he punches the button....that might help a bit.
The best little Anti-Bush site on the Web....
Here is an email I received from an old Navy buddy who has decided to be a merc.Dear Friends & Family This will be my last email to you for awhile! I know this will come as a shock to you but, I have made the monumental decision to take a year off, effective this next Monday 5/30/05. There are a number of reasons as to why I've made this decision, but the major contributor to my decision has been my involvement with a guerilla group in the hills of Peje, who are fighting for freedom and justice against unbelievable odds. I have been in contact with this group for a number of months and will now finally join them. I know you will think I am totally crazy but believe me; I have not made this decision lightly. Nothing you can say or do will stop me doing what I truly believe in. I realize the timing is terrible and my family and dear friends will suffer, but I hope to see you again in happier days. I've attached a photo of the guerilla infantry unit which I will be commanding. Thank you for your support and understanding, Kevin Thanx to Kevin for the post, and bye the bye...NOT WORK SAFE.
Peace Talks - Texas Style....
Thanx to Cowboy Blob's Saloon
I agree with The Englishman's comments. It sounds a bit familiar to me...I especially like the 'impose its humanism' part, all that is missing is 'whether you want it or not'.
Sent to me by one of my students.