Recently in Dog Blogging Category

Living with humans has taught dogs morals, say scientists | Mail Online

I've got a Border Collie smarter than most middle schoolers...but moral?

I think they are anthropomorphizing.

This dog would fuck a snake's mouth if it would hold still, and eat a slug's barf, warm or cold. He will kill any small furry he can catch in the yard.

Instincts and the fact that all dogs are wolves that never reach adulthood are more like it. They are bred to stay puppies (wolves don't play) their whole lives.

Children are not moral creatures. Dogs are loving and dependent companions, anything more is pushing the limit of credulity.

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see you.

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs love red meat.

Anyone can get a good looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

A dog's disposition stays the same throughout the entire month.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs understand that everything smaller than it is meant to be chased.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought Kenny G, Cher, or Barbra Streisand albums.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

Dogs don't worry about germs.

Dogs don't care about or get jealous of any other dog you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet desk and the backs of your drawers.

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog. They're always ready to go.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs aren't catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you



Dog Diary:


8:00 am - Dog food! ... My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! ... My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! ... My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! ... My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! ... My favorite thing!

1:00 PM- Played in the yard! ... My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! ... My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! ... My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! ... My favorite thing!

8:00 PM- Wow! Watched TV with the people! ... My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! ... My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. The hash tastes like a slurry of chicken teeth, claws, and half rotten fish liver.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat the crap to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In another attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet and hacked up a pretty decent hairball.

Today I ripped the head off a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. ... Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.

He is obviously retarded.

Thanx Theo

Why are they torturing me?

It's OK mooch, it's only until the hotspots go away.

Learning to Understand your Border Collie

...as Nor'Easters go down here at the shore.

The only casualty was the poor mooch.

He spent many hours huddled under my computer desk.  The wind tends to set up a racket at the nearby yacht basin...clanging unsecured tackle drives him nuts.

Eventually I set him on our bed with the radio on loud to drown out the strange sounds and wind.  Poor guy.

Mooch on snowy path.
Film grain on white blog.

Wolfie is an Irish Wolfhound pup belonging to the friends with whom we spent New Year's Eve.

A puppy with 6 months yet to grow. Yikes. They've got an 80 lb Burmese that looks like a Shitzu next to this guy. Gentle as a lamb, you can't imagine the size of this pooch until you stand next to him.

Taller at the shoulder than the dining room table...

He also weighs more than the hostess...and is still growing.

The mooch likes to take his morning walk in a patch of the wild woods along the river. Here he can be a wolf in the distance. He can stalk the wily butterfly and leave his spoor for other animals to fear. From the distant trail he watches the unwary human...waiting for the right moment to strike. Something of a timid wolf tho, he doesn't like you to be out of sight for too long. It's like he's looking over his shoulder and scolding me to "hurry up old man". Any morning that I'm home, the mooch has this particular routine; go out into the yard early while I check emails, a walk in the woods along the river, a trip in the truck to the 7-11 for a piece of buttered roll, a stop along the boardwalk in Island Heights on the way back home to watch the waterbirds, a cookie when we get home, and then his breakfast. This taken with my t319 cell phone. Even that is pretty amazing for an old fart - taking pictures (even crummy ones) with a cell phone.

He cracked a claw a few days ago chasing squirrels...and limped around until it healed. We took him up for a nail trim and was able to get all but the sore one clipped. So I let him out into the backyard last night and there's a fat dumb tree-rat with his back to the door at the back of the yard. Dog heaven. Mooch is off like a shot and gets to within a few feet of the rat before it notices him. Right under the dog's jaws, off goes the squirrel at a right angle and Mooch tries to follow. Now Border Collies are very fast and agile...but right turns at about 30 miles per they can't do. He loses his footing on the wet grass and goes skidding into the bushes at the back of the yard....cracking the nail again. So now he is limping, bleeding, and still trying to get that damn tree-rat. He seemed OK last night, not limping and playing in the yard. This morning tho, he was limping on three legs holding the paw up. Off to the dog mart when it opens for some antiseptic. Sprayed with antiseptic, we stuck a white sock on his paw. He dragged it halfway off, decided he liked it, and is now sleeping under my computer desk wearing one white sock. Poor guy. Update: This pooch is too smart. He is limping around the house looking pathetic. I let him out, and he makes a beeline for another squirrel like nothing is wrong. I call out for him to come in for a cookie and he runs to the back door like he's a puppy...then lifts a paw looking pathetic again. Later I watch him walking around the house fine...and as soon as he sees me he lifts a paw. What an actor.

A little late, but we present the traditional Christmas Meat Sock....