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I want to kill somebody, anybody.
What a summer it's going to be.
She chose Imagine by Lennon.
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
She came to me for my ideas. You'all would've been proud of me. I hardly even mentioned that this was a lyrical interpretation of the communist manifesto written by a socialist fellow traveler. I just stuck with the standard utopian 'one world' tripe.
Silky ponies and fuzzy bunnies. No religious strife, no nationalistic turmoil, no greed and separation of economic classes. All the standard stuff that the schools want to hear nowadays.
Of course, I got a little deeper. I couldn't help myself. She certainly wouldn't get an alternate take on this from the school.
Update: She did so well on the report that it put her over the top for placing out of the English final.
Here is another take on it.

Darling Granddaughter: I have a date.
Doting Grandpa: Not on a school night you don't.
Darling Granddaughter: Rag, rag, rag, rag, rag, rag...(channeling her grandmother).
Doting Grandpa: OK, but be home by 9:30.
Darling Granddaughter: Rag, rag, rag, rag, rag, rag...(channeling her grandmother).
Doting Grandpa: Ok, 10:30 max, a minute longer and I go for my shotgun.
So the prospective datee gets lost on the way to the house and I have to give him directions. That didn't bode well for getting her home on time.
Anyway, he got her home within the limit. Obviously cleaning my shotgun when he came to pick her up helped.
LDL = 110
HDL = 47
BP OK as always
Stroke symptoms receding slowly (too slow for me)
No other problems.



...and now I'm making my famous Kristmas Kringle for tomorrow. Yet Another thing that I can't eat.
The traditional roast beast Christmas Eve dinner was nice....
The Kringle is baking - filling the house with the smell of almond - everyone has a glass of port and they're watching the Emmett Otter Jug Band Christmas. The mooch is gnawing on a greenie and enjoys having company down. Hard to get better than this.
My friend and former student Kyle Cassidy, author of Armed America is getting play in the New York Times. From what I can see on Google, he has been well received by the gun community also. When my copy shows up, I'll review it from the perspective of an unreconstructed gun nut. I got my copy from Amazon as well as a book of Smith&Wesson serial numbers.
So I goes and attends a party about 8 years ago at Kyle's Philly digs. The reason for this party (as if he needed one) was the purchase of a meat-locker sized main-frame which was sitting in the middle of his living room cuz it wouldn't fit anywhere else...and surrounded by academic types mainly from the Annenberg and various Philly area universities.
Eccentric to the max, one of the highlights of the night was a digiridu concert, not a solo you understand...everyone but me it seemed brought an instrument. To spend a lot of time with Kyle is to see the other side of the looking glass...and not in a bad way. Even back then, with photography not yet his main focus, you could see in his pictures that his eye saw the world at a 90o angle.
His new book will be called War Paint.
Check out some of the photo's he has so far and see if you can pick out the famous warrior in there. I was able to help a bit getting him pointed at some Vet groups, and he has more trips coming up for War Paint.
My own tattoo has faded away, as red ones tend to over time...and dorsal male pornography wouldn't be appropriate anyway.
She: Walk the dog with me, I don't like to walk in the dark on a Saturday in the Summer.
Sucker: I'm not much protection in my present state.
She: That's OK, you can fall on them.
Nice to know I still have value. Leave it to a wife to remind you of it.
I need to rest.
We had my 16 year old going on 30 granddaughter this past week.
New Hope, Boardwalk, Fireworks, Mall, Pool, Ocean, Where is She now?, Pool, Boardwalk, Mall, Fishing, Fireworks in the Yard, I'm Hungry, Aren't there any Boys in this Neighborhood, Crabbing, My iPod Died, Where the Hell is She Now, Take me for Ice Cream, No you can't use my work laptop to get on MySpace, I Lost a Fishing Hook in the Back Yard, Miniature Golf...
I love you Grandpa
Yeah, you can come down for another week later in the Summer.
So my grand-dotter drops her ipod. It's actually the one thing she has taken care of for an amazing 3 years. The hold button gets stuck and it locks the device up.
Banging it on a table didn't help (Hey, I'm a guy - try percussive repair first), so I took it apart and reconnected all the little bits that had become separated when she dropped it. I didn't even know you could take them apart - but it was coming apart whether or not it wanted to anyway.
I notice that I am a hero. For the moment.
I let this face recognition software check out my picture, and give me comparisons to 'famous' people.
Robin Williams 73% (Used-to-be funny comedian)
Ang Lee 72% (Rikes)
Yitzhak Rabin 71% (Israeli politician)
Sergei Bubka 70% (Ukrainian pole vaulter)
Roman Polanski 68% (Director and Rapist)
Francis Crick 68% (of DNA fame)
Greg Bear 68% (SciFi author)
Mikis Theodorakis 68% (Greek composer)
Sir Edmund Hillary 67% (Mountain climber)
Edsger Dijkstra 66% (Computer guru)
J Robin Warren 66% (Nobel Pathologist)
Hugh Hefner 66% (Double Yikes)
Marco van Basten 61% (World Cup Soccer coach)
Jackie Chan 61% (Triple Rikes)
Magic Johnson 61% (Quadruple Yikes)
Bobby Charlton 60% (World Cup Soccer player)
Some pertinent notes:
I am not Chinese
I am not Black
Younger I looked like Richard Dryfus in Jaws and now I look like Dick Chaney in terminator.
My wife scans as Sally Field (68%), Kathleen Turner (54%), with Julianna Marguiles, Miranda Richardson, Susan Sarandon (Gak - divorce), and Blake Lively as lesser matches.
She actually always reminded me of Sally Field in Gidget.
Obviously this program is crappola for men and fairly accurate for women. My wife agreed with the female renditions, but knows I don't look anything like Robin Williams...the terminator picture got an agreeful laugh out of her.
My daughter came out as 75% Scarlett Johansson, 71% Eliza Dushku (from Buffy), Elle Macpherson, Jennifer Aniston, and a bunch of other starlets.
Thru Xavier's Thoughts, I find that one of my old students is getting quite a bit of play lately.
Kyle is the author of Armed America: Portraits of Gun Owners in Their Homes - Krause Books.
He is a character. One night at his place we all got serenaded by his didjeridu while drunkenly celebrating his acquisition of a mainframe computer for his home - a large gray box sitting in the middle of his living room due to the lack of space elsewhere. Half the college faculty of the Annenberg Center showed up. I always wondered if his wife was going to paint it to match the walls.
Even back then he had published graphic novels - my favorite being a short 'sin city' type effort using Barbie. It doesn't go well for poor Barb.
From Cowboy Blob comes....
We will be driving to rural upstate New York for family business in the AM Wednesday. Be back Thursday evening.
I built some Almond Pecan Danish Kringles tonight in between wrapping, etc. They've got too many death pellets in them for me to eat one, but apparently they were a hit. Not bad for a first try.
And a cartoon from R. Crumb that pretty much captures our family Holiday dinners....close, but he left out a few types of nutbunnies.

The meal was wonderful. Our holiday tradition is for Roast Beast. I think this is my wife's favorite recipe as you can cut this thing with a sharp remark. We cook two beasts - one for those who show up on Christmas Eve, and another for those who are still here on Christmas afternoon. There was literally one inch of Kringle left - even with it competing with two types of cheese cake and pecan pie. I have been honored by a request from the wife to make it for a New Years Eve party we are trekking off to...believe me, that's a first. We also make several vegetarian entrée for those who require it, but they change every year - and are supplemented by noodles, stuffing, veggies, and the like.
Presents were exchanged with great anticipation and everyone did just fine. I kept up my 10 year tradition of giving the kids something useful for avoiding becoming prey - and I'm already thinking crossbows for next Christmas.
Now for the wrapping...
Update: Gaaaa, will it never end?
They also got her an amp, so it was a bit noisy for a while....
She kept her energy level up most of the day, and got a bit pooped out at the end. What a doll.
The food was catered by Famous Dave's....ribs to die for. A good time was had by all.
Clipped a car, but no one was hurt.
Apparently it got tangled in the sign it was trolling along the beach. Another one came down on the lawn of the middle school the same day.
The sky is falling.
The neighbor is putting a 'for sale' sign on a late model SUV.
The neighbor's daughter just got divorced and wanted to sell her car for what she owed on it. A red 2004 Blazer with 20K milage, trailer package, auto 4x4, and full length side step rails, and 18 months left on the bumper to bumper warrentee....$12,000. They were $18 - 19,000 with 50K milage at the dealers...with no extras.
I bought it on the spot.
Not only do I have an SUV back (I miss my Trooper), but it'll piss off the extreme tree-huggers. Oh, and I've got wheels again that can carry this...the Buick was havin' none of it.
Oh well, the alternative is that Fumble Fingered Fat Brown could have killed me with that little mistake* he made whilst we were removing the explosive detonators from a MK61 lo those many years ago. *It was a two man job. The access port close to the detonators was too small to actually remove them. You passed them to another sucker who removed them from a larger hatch on the other side of the bomb. As I passed this thing, he dropped it. Now you have to understand that the detonators were charged with PETN...with a drop test ratio of 50 times more sensitive than TNT. That means if you drop a one KG weight onto a bit of it from an inch high, it'll self detonate 50% of the time. With my arms still in the bomb I slid my foot under and caught this 3lb canister on my shoe. Now with my arms bleeding, I pulled them out of the bomb, grabbed a screwdriver, reached over and stabbed Brown. Meanwhile the control member of this fiasco was listening me go apeshit nuts homicidal on the other end of the radio. Brown was the only man I knew who cut a finger on the same hand he was holding scissors with....and was a bomb disposal tech. I didn't get in trouble, Brown healed and stayed in the service as a career. After that I was always waiting for a large explosion somewhere in the world. Come to think of it now, I got lucky a couple of times. Shit, that was a nasty job.
I'm not exactly a tax cheat...but I'm sloooooow. I'm still paying off my business' 2003 taxes. 2004 was a net plus so I did those up to date...2005 was a net plus also. I see exactly no reason to pay taxes on time when I owe money. The fines are minimal for the amount I'm behind, and they only ask for a couple of bucks a month. I have absolutly no confidence that the guv'mint will spend my money wisely. After reading this article, my mind hasn't changed.
And the 'torch'....
It don't look it in the pictures, but the torch is about as big as a Harley.
This is the one that grabbed me.
And there's a dealer about a mile from the house.
So Toms River finally makes the National News....
Our water is radioactive.
Great. I was wondering about those green tentacles on my wifes head...but I didn't want to ask in case it was some kind of new fashion statement.
I love it. The coffee is very very good...and frothy. That was a bit strange.
With some web surfing I learn that frothy is a feature, not a bug. Apparently it's very continental to have frothy coffee and Phillips warns that you won't get that frothy goodness if you don't use their pods. I reserve judgement.
Well I'm going to try some experiments....like putting cream in the cup first (frothy milk?), different flavors, and different pod brands. I'll be drinking frothy euroweenie coffee from this beauty as I put my all-American death stick together (big chunks of which were bought by my other kids)...what could be better than that.
A hundred years later his great great nephew joined the Marines.
Lose the face fuzz and we've got a match....check out the ears.
Of course this is the same kid that would go over to the Van Gogh exhibit at the MOMA in NYC and stand next to the self-portrait print (with a bandage on his ear).....it played with people's heads.
It gets a lot closer on the program...you can see what make car I have in the drive....
I took 4 years of French, and 2 years of Latin. Don't remember squat. After reading some laments about the quality of education and hearing some simple question and answer interviews with so-called college graduates, I sat my middle son down and asked him some questions. Arguably he was a late bloomer, caused us heartbreak in middle and high school, but buckled down and graduated from Rutgers with a science/technical degree a few years ago. He is better than me in math and geography...and about 95% in history. He couldn't tell me exactly the year the Civil War started (missed only by a decade), but answered all my other American and World history questions perfectly. English and Literature were never his strong suits, and I asked no questions about that...I wasn't looking for a metrosexual here, I was looking for a basic scientific, mathematical, and historical founding. That he had. I'm sure my others would do as well...all having gone to the same highschool, and probably listening more closely than my wild Irish boy. I'm pleased. And yes, he voted for sKerry.Thanx to the CEO for the Sobran quote...
And here is my sweetie...she told me she had a dream that she was Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. I've decided to sleep in the guest room with the door locked....at least until she has a dream that she is the high-end hooker in Firefly.
Go here to make your own character....
Thanx to Cowboy Blog for the pointer to Suitably Flip.
Sometimes, when the squirrels are slow and the frisbee's thrown low...ya just gotta smile.
A good lesson for you out there. You can protect your card and shread your receipts as we do...and someone can still luck onto your numbers and make charges on your card....chances are you might not even notice if they don't go crazy. Do what I do...create an internet account with your card company and bank and check the statement each week....even on accounts you don't use that often. I've got shortcuts set up in my favorites and it takes less than 5 minutes to check the bank and 4 cards.
The Mooch and one of his two dozen Frizbees in this awful white stuff that has continuously fallen from the sky since last September....
Update: It's Friday the 11th, and it is 65o and sunny again.
A handmade sculpted copper rose, a rose brooch, a half-dozen roses, Chanel No. 5, two types of chocolate, a Body Shop gift card, earrings, a lottery ticket, a card, and a box of chalk*....all in a fancy bag that cost more than the flowers.
I know that my end all and be all is to keep *SHE* happy (in case she is reading this) but I still think this is a made-up holiday. Com'on, where's the 'Buy a MilSpec for your Man' day?
*When I went out this morning *SHE* says..."Oh, get me a box of white blackboard chalk for a project I'm doing". So I figure, what the hell, it fills up the bag.
Update: Commenter Cinomed sent me a link to a real man's holiday. Steak and a BJ. Not to be too punny, but I can get behind that. (Cinomed has a great biker joke on his site)
The next generation of American Imperialists constructing a snow fort....
My backyard at 1PM...
The Barneget is beyond that last row of trees...
It's 2:30PM now and only about 2 inches so far...
I used my leaf-blower to clean the walkways...the snow is that light.
My backyard at 4:30PM.
The roads are shot...we went out for a late lunch before it got too bad.
I guess we have about 4 inches now.
It is now 8:30PM. The heaviest accumulation got up to about 6 inches. The temperature as spiked up 15 degrees to just above freezing. The snow has turned to rain and what is on the ground is turning to slush. 20 minutes with a shovel cleaned up my back and front walks...and the fabulous Jenny's front walk next door. If I didn't jump out there to do Jenny's walk, she would be out there herself doing it - and she turned 100 on the 15th. What a pisser.
The 2nd storm is on the way. Hopefully it won't dump more than another 6 inches on us...an easy cleanup. I like the way this 12 inch storm is developing...snow, rain, melt away, snow.
The mooch doesn't appreciate the rainy slushy weather. He prefers deep snow to dig tunnels thru. I tried to take him out for a romp but he took one look at the bleech and decided he preferred to snuggle with his mom. He did, however, deign to come in to my office and give me a bit of love.
It must be wonderful to be a meteorologist. They predicted 24 inches of snow for us and we got two 6 inch snowfalls with a couple of hours of rain in between. They predicted the snow would be heaviest south and east of New York, with the heaviest snow along the coast...and Boston got 40 inches.
Here is my backyard at 1PM on Sunday
The Barneget Bay looking toward the Seaside Heights Bridge
The distant Guilford Park Yacht Club is not far from my house. The parties at that place for the Memorial and Labor Day holidays got so rowdy that they had to be stopped. There is a small beach beside it where *SHE* used to walk the kids down to swim when they were small.
The Barneget...pretty much iced over. Years past, there were car races across the frozen bay from the foot of the seaside bridge to a restaurant on my side. After about a billion cars sank, they gave it up.
A street in my neighborhood...
Some views across the Dillon Creek to Island Heights...Dillon Creek Yacht Club is home to some serious boats. Nobody is getting out into the bay now, by golly. My backyard is across the street from the creek just behind the house to the right in the 2nd picture.
A view of the Guilford Park Yacht Club from Dillon Creek.
Our next door neighbor, the fabulous Jenny, turns 100 years old in January.
You would look at this woman and think she was 30 years younger. She just stopped driving 2 years ago.
She gardens, rakes leaves, goes shopping, feeds her birds, keeps her house and yard spotless, and trucks down to Atlantic City a couple of time a year with her nieces. She stopped cutting her own lawn last year. I'll see her out in the yard doing something inappropriate for her years and my wife and I will run over and do it for her...she rarely asks for help. Dot helped her remove curtains today for cleaning, and I trimmed a high branch she couldn't reach that was touching the house.
What a woman. She received a wonderfully ornate parchment proclaimation from the town celebrating her 100th.
Think about all the things you would have seen if you were born in Poland back in '05...1905 that is. Her life spans communism in the USSR, both world wars, aircraft and spacecraft, the telephone was only 20 years old at her birth, and Babbage was dead only 30 years. She immigrated to this country as a child, passing thru Ellis Island, and never married.
When we first moved into the house, she was in her 70's and living with her two widowed brothers. What parties they had. Nothing we ever did was as loud and raucous as the old farts next door. My kids still laugh about it.
The brothers are gone and Jenny remains. Never sick, just a bit frail, and with a spirit that is still 20 years old. We love her.

Here he is grown up....at